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Middle East Monica Dispatch

2000: A Worldtrek Odyssey
January 12, 2000

Stardate: 5 Galliloop, 9573
Location: Jerusalem, Earth
Space Coordinates: 4.3 light-years from the Alpha Centauri system

Captain's Log

This is Captain Yeek speaking over radio transmission beaming to our home planet of Mereek in the **)K003984nrz?>> transmission garbled*** solar system.

This is a Code Red transmission. Details of the emergency follow. Stop.

We have completed a flyby of this small blue-green planet. About 70% of the planet is covered with H2O and what looks like frozen H2O at the northern and southern poles. Local time is January of their year 2000 common era (CE).

sentient - having sense perception; conscious
reconnaissance - inspection or exploration of an area, especially to gather military information
infiltrate - to pass into enemy-held territory
portal - door or entrance
toboggan - to coast or slide
thermonuclear - relating to the fusion of atomic nuclei at high temperatures

The planet is called "Earth" in our guidebook. It is third in distance away from its star, the "Sun," with an average orbit of 365.25 days. Flybys of the first two planets Mercury and Venus, and the fourth planet, Mars, show minimal chance for contacting sentient life forms. However, on Earth we have noted a population of about 6 billion inhabitants called "humans." Stop.

We have attempted communication with the humans by broadcasting transmissions to a large telescope dish at Arecibo, in the Southern Hemisphere of the planet in a place called "Puerto Rico." We have heard of an ongoing effort called the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI). Stop.

First communications agent Ku'leek located an area of intense human activity one week ago in an area called "Jerusalem." Our monitors intercepted television signals with coverage of an event called Y2K centered here and around the globe. Therefore, Agent Ku'leek and her partner Careek volunteered for undercover reconnaissance duty with translator ear pieces (in Hebrew, Arabic, and English) and in human disguise. Here is the text of their transmissions:

TEXT OF Ku'leek's Transmission:

Agent Ku'leek here, do you copy?

We have managed to safely infiltrate the city. Our guide is "Monica," an "Odyssey Trekker." We have entered the "Old City" of Jerusalem. The area covers one square earth kilometer (in Mereek units: 57 geechieknees). Approximately 20,000 human inhabitants live here.

It is walled off but Agent Careek and I noticed seven accessible portals. I will enter the Old City through the "Jaffa Gate" (English translation) with Monica. Agent Careek will enter through the "Damascus Gate." Pictures enclosed in attached data packet. The Jaffa Gate is the entrance to both the Armenian and the Christian Quarters.

Agent Ku'leek speaking.

Monica no longer wishes to interact with me. She claims she must write a "dispatch". I am continuing with my explorations. I saw a very interesting >>?#GKJ012000> transmission lost......

TEXT OF Careek's Transmission:

This is Agent Careek checking in, copy?

The entrance to Damascus Gate is filled with much activity and noise. Vendors sell boiled corncobs and sahalab, a sweet tapioca drink. Young humans toboggan down the steps in homemade sleds. The Muslim Quarter lies just beyond this gate and (POP!!!!!) WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!.....(skip) (crackle)

Agent Careek here, do you read?

I was startled by the sound of firecrackers that young humans set off in front of Damascus Gate. Bridge has instructed me to walk to the quieter portal called the "Lions Gate." This gate faces Olive Mountain. Just inside is the first station of the Via Dolorosa, a route along which many Christians travel during pilgrimages. Correction, this is called the Mount of Olives, not Olive Mountain. My thermonuclear analysis enclosed in attached data packet shows Lions Gate and the four adolescent male humans.

?#GKJ012000> rest of transmission lost......

This is Captain Yeek. My agents have not reported in for their hourly status report and have now been missing for over seven hours. I am concerned as to what might have happened to them and if their cover was blown. Agent Ku'leek's last contact was with a "Trekker" named "Monica." I will be monitoring all the Trekker Internet-based dispatches to assess the situation in more detail. They seem to have more information on this intriguing walled city called Jerusalem and its surroundings. Home crew please be advised of Internet site: As captain, my next course of action is to.... >>?#GKJ012000 Rest of transmission lost- 000023LKJ??>#IIK729


p.s. - Please e-mail me at

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